How to make your wedding totally personal and unique

Sometimes we get so caught up in what’s expected at a wedding, weddings we’ve been to before become a ‘blueprint’ - it can be hard to imagine what else is possible or available. Your mates Michelle and Simon had a covers band, smoked salmon and a photo booth… So you should just do the same right? No! Unless you adore covers bands, smoked salmon and photo booths, in which case, crack on!

The whole wedding industry is steeped in tradition and “norms”. Not to get too tin-foil-hat about the whole thing, but most of that is about pressuring you into spending tons of money on stuff that you’d otherwise never choose to spend money on. Plus patriarchy, obvs.

Your wedding is a huge party to celebrate your love - so it should look and feel like your love, not anyone else’s. You’re only doing this once (fingers crossed), so allow yourselves to be unapologetically yourselves. Spend money on the stuff you’re genuinely excited about, that’ll give you sh*t-tons of joy and meaning on the day.

If certain traditions don’t move you, ditch them!

If a first dance gives you the ick, don’t have one!

If a sit-down three-course formal dinner isn’t your vibe, don’t do it!

If that poem about “the recipe for love” makes you want to die, don’t read it!!

I’ve drawn together a few of my favourite personalisations from the weddings of my couples to inspire you and get you thinking…

Personalising your outfits

The unbelievably stylish Adam and Dan had a very jazzy outfit change mid-way through their wedding. They wore pastel suits for the ceremony and changed into full gold glitter one-pieces for their disco. The gall, the audacity, the gumption!

Tess didn’t fancy a white dress, so she found a gorgeous embroidered floral dress from a second-hand site. She then worked with a tailor to adjust the length and sleeves to be just as she wanted them. It was utterly unique and so ‘her’ (and a bargain!).

Emma wanted to be able to throw some shapes on her big day, so she wore a matching white silk top and trousers. She looked next-level chic, modern, and glam.

Personalising your food

Abi and Dan aren’t huge fans of cake – so instead of having a traditional cake cutting, they’ll smash a piñata which Abi made. Kitsch, fun and mildly violent, I love it.

They’re also not into big formal dinners. Instead of having a “wedding breakfast”, they’ve got a pizza truck accompanying a game of drag bingo. Camp and delightful.

Personalising the little details

Abi and Dan aren’t having a guest book – remember when Smithy was in charge of that for Gavin and Stacey? Nightmare. Instead they’ll have a “Poodle Doodle” where everyone’s invited to draw their gorgeous dog, Attie. They’ll compile all the doodles into a big piece of artwork to commemorate their day.

Adam and Dan are both obsessed with mushrooms so they had mushrooms littered throughout the venue, including in their bouquets. They’re such fungis. (so sorry)

They also had fun with their tables – they crafted centrepieces from old books and bric-a-brac they had lying around at home, and the table names were in-jokes they shared which was a great conversation-starter for us guests.

Not wanting to have the usual 100% male line-up for the speeches, Tess and Tonio opted for a (terrifying-sounding) “speech roulette”, where anyone could volunteer to prepare a few words in advance and then it was decided on the day randomly. We heard from friends, cousins, and parents – and the gender split was pretty equal, winner.

Personalising your evening do

Tess and Tonio had an Italian Ceilidh rather than a band in the evening (yep, they managed to find the only Italian Ceilidh band in the entire country). It was a perfect way to bring us all together, beyond language, age and background – and wonderfully chaotic.

Adam and Dan also mixed up the usual evening do format. They had a drag artist and DJ host their night, keeping guests entertained by playing interactive games and teaching a dance routine, while playing some stone-cold bangers.

Personalising your location

Lucy and Craig and Paula and Ben are both choosing to get married in their family gardens. If you have the good fortune of having a huge garden in your family (and you’re happy to brave the weather!) this could be a great option to save some serious dollar.

Other unusual wedding venues include yurts, woods and forests, beaches, AirBnBs (with permission!), museums, pubs… With a celebrant-led ceremony, you don’t need to be limited to a licensed venue, so pick wherever you like – within reason!

Personalising your readings

Rather than opting for a traditional poem, Adam and Dan’s ceremony reading was Gloria Gaynor’s I Am What I Am lyrics. It was delightfully gay and also surprisingly moving.

Meanwhile, Emma and Mat’s ceremony reading was a love scene from Star Wars between Han Solo and Princess Leia, acted out by two of their friends. Their guests were amused and bemused in equal measure.

If a film or song mean more to you than a poem, why not honour that? Your readings can be romantic and sincere, but they can also be funny and entertaining!

And finally…

Choosing a celebrant is another great way to personalise your day – we create 100% bespoke, original ceremonies entirely about your relationship and your love story.

I start every wedding script with a blank piece of paper and get to know my couples super intimately, understanding their values, in-jokes, quirks, treasured memories, and what gives them the ick!

Registrar-led ceremonies are short and sweet, and the same as everyone else’s - they show up on the day and drop your names into a template. Your guests will be clock-watching, waiting for the fun stuff to start. But you’ve spent all that time and money and energy picking your venue, flowers, outfits – the ceremony should set the tone of your whole day, and get it started with a bang!

For couples looking for an utterly unforgettable, unique, and totally ‘you’ wedding day, a celebrant is a must-have. Fancy a natter about working with me? Slide into my DMs, I’d love to hear from you.